Scene: Two men in suits.
One man advises the other:
“Here’s what you need to do. You need to buy [local newspaper] and then you need to invest some money to turn it into a national paper.”
Then they spend the rest of the lunch hashing out the details of this trainwreck of a business venture.
Scene: A handful of professionals at a business lunch
Sales Bro: The key to making money online for your company is using Bing.
Employee A: Bing?
Sales Bro: It’s Microsoft’s version of Google.
Employee B: [impressed] Oh, Microsoft!
Sales Bro: Yeah, they pay way higher for ad words than Google.
Employee A: What does that mean?
Sales Bro: so like basically if you would have made $180,000 on Google, you’d make almost $240,000 on Bing.
[no one asks the realistic possibility of making either of these figures anywhere]
Sales Bro: Also, the key to driving traffic to your site is using Bing too. Not Google. You’ll get way more online sales. Yahoo might also be good, but I’ll have to check on that.
[note: no, Yahoo is not “also good.”]
He then spent the remainder of the meal bragging about how many offices he has and how many people he manages. He has an office in NYC and LA. I guess that means he’s totes legit.